The one I’ve been dreading

Two weeks and a day later and the tears are still right here. We lost our Nemmy, beautiful Mnementh, on Oct 23. 8 months old. Too damned young. I cannot believe how much it still hurts. It hurt to lose every dog, of course…but I’ve never lost a puppy before and pray I never lose a puppy again. Senseless. So many what-ifs and if-onlys keep running through my head. I know that’s a stupid thing to do, dwelling on the things I could have done differently. But how do you turn that off and find any measure of peace? I haven’t even brought myself to write an obituary for him to post to our various dog related mail lists yet. I cherish seeing his special toys around the house. Then again…to Nemmy, everything became a toy. That was the eventual downfall, I guess. But I wouldn’t have traded that very special Nemmy joy. I believe perhaps his joy was needed elsewhere. He never met Bubba, Shenanigan, or Tipper but I have to believe they’re having a blast together now, at the bridge, waiting tor me.